Valentine’s Day is today, and what better way to “embrace the love” than by sharing a wonderful excerpt devoted to becoming closer to your spouse. Today, we are sharing from The Joy of Being Mom by Judy Brisky. The chapter is directed primarily toward marriage, but Judy truly believes there is something for everyone in these following words. For those who want to be married someday, tuck these truths inside your heart and ask God to help you prepare to be the best spouse you can be.

Each new day gives us a fresh opportunity to bring joy into our marriages. To help you find renewed joy with your spouse, Judy has a list of what she calls “Joy Givers.” These are ideas and Scriptures that have truly transformed her relationship and brought unity and understanding into her and her husband’s daily lives.

1. Share your heart every day.

When life gets busy, it’s easy to allow distractions to get in the way of daily

conversations with your spouse. However, connection is a key component of healthy relationships, and an important way spouses connect is by talking and sharing their hearts with one another on a regular basis. 

2. Commit to church.

Attending church services together (and with your children) demonstrates that obedience to God is a priority to your family. When you spend time with other believers who motivate you to grow in your faith, your relationship with the Lord strengthens, and that is always a blessing to your marriage. 

3. Schedule regular dates.

Are you still experiencing the exciting anticipation of date nights? If not, then it’s time to start—right now! Getting ready for a date with your spouse creates excitement as you look forward to spending time together.

4. Pray together.

Prayer is one of the most intimate things you can do with your spouse. This spiritual connection will draw your hearts closer to each other and to the Lord. Set aside some time each day to pray together.

5. Communicate your needs.

Sexual intimacy is a sacred and beautiful gift in marriage, and it requires open and honest communication. Tell your spouse what you need, and listen to what their needs are as well. It’s not unusual for one spouse to have a greater desire for sex than the other, and this balance can shift based on many different variables. Be sensitive and serve one another in love, both in and out of the bedroom.

6. Choose to forgive.

As Christians, we are called to forgive others just as Jesus forgave us. It’s tempting to think, Well, He’s Jesus, the Son of God. He’s perfect, so it’s easy for Him to forgive. The reason Jesus forgives us is because He loves us. We forgive because we love Jesus. We forgive because we love our spouse. We forgive because we are called to love.

7. Work through conflict.

Conflict only becomes a problem when we see it as a personal win or lose scenario. Marriage is a joint effort. Either both spouses win, or both spouses lose. How should you respond to conflict in your marriage? Work with your spouse to find a solution to the issue at hand. Listening to each other makes it much easier to find common ground. When you humbly admit your mistakes, you take a crucial step toward resolving the issue, and that is a win-win for everyone.

8. Listen and learn.

Hearing is done with our ears but listening is done with our hearts. Lean in with your heart so you can be fully present and attentive to your spouse. When husbands and wives give each other the space needed to share their thoughts, they show respect and honor for one another.

9. Share your vision.

Spend time talking, praying, and hearing God with your spouse. Whether you choose to have retreats, talks, or something else, be intentional to share and pray about what God is saying to you as individuals and as a couple. He has a beautiful plan for your marriage. Make time to hear it!

10. Speak life.

Speaking life over your spouse matters. What you say and how you say it will either bring your relationship closer together or drive it further apart. Make a conscious and continuous effort to speak words of encouragement over your spouse and your marriage. 

11. Seek Godly friendships.

As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend (Proverbs 27:17, NLT).

Friends who draw you closer to God are a tremendous gift.

12. Read God’s Word every day.

Reading the Bible with your spouse brings a special intimacy to your relationship. One way to do this is to read the same book of the Bible and then discuss what God shows to the two of you and says to your hearts.

13. Serve each other in love.

You and your spouse may have distinct serving styles. Choose to value each other’s gifts and strengths, and don’t withhold appreciation if something isn’t done exactly to your liking. Serving one another in love will bless your relationship and build a strong marriage.

To read more, purchase your copy of The Joy of Being Mom at the link here.

The Joy of Being Mom Devotional Coming Soon!

Copyright © 2021 by Judy Brisky