STRONG WOMEN AND THE MEN WHO LOVE THEM: IT TAKES TALKING
Communication is one of the key factors to a healthy marriage. Sadly, a lot of couples suffer from a lack of communication. We are left in a fog when our communication goes awry, and we try to put the pieces back together after the damage has been done. We haven’t yet come to appreciate and understand the differences in our communication styles, so cycles of disconnection are continued.
The only way to have true intimacy in a marriage is through open, honest communication. We cannot assume we know or understand what our spouse is thinking unless we have a verbal conversation with them about it. We have to communicate our thoughts to each other to be able to relate honestly.
Many conflicts in marriage occur because of what we thought the other person was saying or thinking, not because of their actual words. Even if you know your spouse very well, it is possible to misinterpret or misunderstand something they have said. To have effective communication, you have to be a good listener as well as a good talker. Good listening involves having an open mind to hear their perspective and then having a back-and-forth dialogue with your spouse about the issue.
It requires you to disconnect from other distractions and to focus on what your spouse is saying. Because of the proliferation of cell phones and TVs, plus the demands of your kids, work, and everything else, it is important to remind yourself to take time to engage with your spouse.
If you look at marriage as a journey, you will see that every step you take will lead you somewhere. If you’re not careful, you can end up in a place you didn’t intend to be in your relationship. We have to be focused in our priorities, and we need to look at our actions, because they will tell us what our priorities really are.
Author: Tom & Jan Lane
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